Addicted To Love...When Love Is The Drug

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Permalink Reply by Diana Daffner on May 14, 2010 at 6:35am

Yes, if we need Love so much that we remain and suffer in dysfunctional and harmful relationships, exhibiting these unhealthy behaviors, it would be advisable to find help to investigate and free ourselves from the addiction. Yet the experience of sharing Love is one of the most deliciously fulfilling gifts of having a partner. Recognizing and expressing the desire for more loving attention and a deeper connection in an otherwise healthy and stable relationship is not necessarily "neediness.". It may result, however, in unsuccessful and ineffective attempts to engage our partner in the experience of intimacy. Tantra, an ancient spiritual training from India, can provide couples with a new way of entering together into a true state of Love. Awakening to the desire is the first step.
Diana Daffner, author of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day

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Permalink Reply by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on May 14, 2010 at 8:16am

I do, however, want to add, that Love Addicts sometimes attempt to hold onto their partners by a form of seduction which is not healthy. They sometimes utilize sex as a vehicle to overshadow the issues between them. It is vital to bring those issues out from beneath the covers and address any issues impacting their relationship -- most importantly, the core issue of abandonment.

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Permalink Reply by Diana Daffner on May 14, 2010 at 1:08pm

True, when sex is used "as a vehicle to overshadow the issues between them," it can drive a couple even more deeply into unhealthy and negative experiences. They repeat the same patterns over and over, never learning how to break free into the conscious, loving relationship they desire - and deserve. As in all of life, consciousness is key.

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